Days Gone By

I didn't anticipate giving birth early (who does?), but now that I've gotten to know baby Brandon for 13 days now, it's surreal to imagine life without him in it.

The word surreal has been tossed around a lot in my life for the last two weeks. It's surreal I'm no longer pregnant. It's surreal my labor and delivery happened SO quickly (to be revealed in a future post). It's surreal that I'm now a woman who can add "mother" to her list of titles. And it's surreal that my life is now filled with so much emotion for a baby.

The last leg of my pregnancy was the toughest out of all the trimesters. Compared to the first and second trimesters, I was the most uncomfortable, the most clumsy and the most nervous. 

• I no longer had strong cravings for food (sadness). Instead, I experienced heartburn after meals. As baby Brandon got bigger, my stomach had less room to fill out. I never felt heartburn before so I popped Tums like candy.
  
• Basic movements were challenging. My girth was wide so turning and opening doors without hitting my belly was commonplace.
  
• I caught a cold during the last weeks of pregnancy and the congestion was killer. I couldn't take "regular" medicine so I felt horrible for about a week before I even started to feel better. I powered through it as best as I could, but I felt awful.
  
• My right foot was more swollen than my left foot on and off throughout the pregnancy. Not cute.
  
• Klutz alert. They say that women get clumsy and it actually was true for me. I broke my husband's favorite coffee mug in the sink. Of course, he took it well, but I promptly went on eBay to find him a replacement!
  
• The urge to nest was not rampant for me. I went through spurts of cleaning and organizing during my second trimester, but it wasn't unusual compared to "my normal" urge to clean and organize. Instead, during the last three months, I grew increasingly nervous and anxious. 
• Would I be capable of taking care of another human being? 
• How bad would postpartum depression be? 
• How will my body recover? 
• Are we financially set? 
• How will life be like without work? 
• Everything was incredibly foreign and the unknown of it all was unsettling.

Despite all this, I really would do this all again. I actually miss my belly and feeling baby Brandon kick and roll inside me. It was comforting to know that everything I was doing was for his benefit and that he was safe and sound inside the womb. Now, he's in this world with us and I can only protect him as much as I physically can as he continues to grow and become his own person.

Even at baby Brandon's newborn stage, I am learning to savor every second with him. At 13 days, he already seems like a completely different baby than the first day we brought him home. Seeing that I often reference time on this blog and its inevitable fast pace, I definitely imagine myself to be one of those parents who cannot believe how quickly her child has grown. 

So please indulge with me as I learn to be a better mother and a better person. I may no longer be showcasing a baby belly, but I will be showcasing more of myself as a stronger, and hopefully wiser, woman.