Lately, I have been a big ball of emotions. Blame it on the post pregnancy hormones, sleep deprivation or reading too much stuff online that creates many internal dialogs. Whatever the reason, I'm sharing my thoughts on how I'm choosing to cherish my sentimental summer.
- Be present.
This is my most challenging task. I'm often the one grabbing the camera to film or snap a photo. I want to "remember" the moment through a photo or video. Ironically, I end up missing the point of being in the moment. Recently, Baby B started socially smiling. The first time it happened, I became obsessed with making sure my camera was nearby. Like his father, Baby B didn't want to be in front of the camera. He would sense the camera, and perhaps my obsession, and stop being the adorable, smiley baby. When I reminded myself to just let things be, I appreciated all the smiles that came soon after. Maybe I don't have the "perfect" photo to share/post, but my heart is full and my memories remain.
- Cease comparing.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Whether I'm on Instagram, Snapchat or other form of social media, I fall victim to the comparison game. It's horrible isn't it? This isn't the first time I've made mention of this wretched game, but somehow the game always creeps back. Now, with a baby, I end up comparing milestones. My thoughts generally go like this: "why isn't my baby doing that?...shoudn't Baby B be doing that by now?...how come this isn't happening for my family?" As my husband always says, everyone and every baby is different. So why am I should-ing all over myself?
- Be kind...to myself.
I'm my worst critic. While I'm the first to remind my friends how wonderful they are, I'm somehow cruel when it comes to myself. I can list a whole bunch of reasons of why I think I'm terrible at something, but I stumble over words to describe myself in a positive light. With motherhood especially, I can be especially harsh with myself. Since I have no previous experience to compare myself to, I automatically assume that if something doesn't happen as I read it to be for others online then the reason it's not happening is because of me. That needs to stop. This coincides with my #2 above and how I should stop should-ing all over myself.
With so many people plugged into the online world, somehow unplugging seems revolutionary. Stepping away from the computer, my phone, the TV and tablets is wonderfully refreshing. There was a time when so much of this technology was not available and all of those people survived.
- Go with the flow.
Although I don't care to admit this, I am definitely a person who likes a routine and knowing what will happen next. I used to think of myself as a carefree type but as I've gotten older, I realize I stress over the lack of control I may have over situations I'll encounter. There are certain occasions where this doesn't apply (hello, vacations and weekends with no plans), but when it comes to big decisions and life moments, I could be considered Type A. Yet again, having a baby means I can't rely on knowing what will happen next. Because there is no such thing. Things can change instantly and whatever I thought should be, won't be. Learning to go with the flow means I can enjoy the process more and stress less. I can appreciate surprises and the joy of discovering unexpected results.